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Artwork of a Tedi from Conker: Live & Reloaded
|First appearance||Conker's Bad Fur Day|
|Species||Robotic teddy bears|
|Eye color||Black (Bad Fur Day)|
Yellow (Live & Reloaded)
The Tediz are a race of robotic teddy bears, and are the main enemies of the Conker series, starting with Conker's Bad Fur Day. Tediz resemble normal teddy bears, but have stitches in various parts of their body.
The Tediz are a somewhat obvious parody of the Nazis as they have a similar name, speak in a German-based accent, and have swastika-based symbols all over their base (a T in a white circle surrounded by red). Their designer, Kriplespac, also has a German-based accent.
Conker's Bad Fur Day
The exact origin of the Tediz is unknown, but an earlier race was first used in the Milk Wars 300 years ago. They had numerous defects, notably their composition out of highly-flammable material, and their eyes frequently fell out.
During the events of Bad Fur Day, the Tediz were re-commissioned by Professor Von Kriplespac though in the BFD manual they have already overrun the grey squirrel's homeland which suggests either Kriplespac had a backup plan to order the Tediz while he's not commanding or one of the Tediz could have taken the mantle of Kriplespac and has commenced the invasion. Their redesign gave them more durability. Conker would eventually join the Squirrel High Command in the It's War chapter and fight the Tediz. He was forced to infiltrate their base, which he eventually self-destructed; this killed hundreds in the process.
In the ECTS prototype of Bad Fur Day, the Tediz' inspiration from Nazis is more obvious. A deleted scene from It's War showed two Tedi Surgeons experiments on a living squirrel soldier; this behavior is directly mirrored by what concentration camp personnel did to their prisoners. Another deleted scene, from the Multi game Total War, showed a Tedi instructor resembling Adolf Hitler which he supposes to appear in Conker: Live & Cut as one of the possible models you can play as. Also in Conker: Live & Uncut, one of the Tediz you can play as, resembles Heinrich Himmler. A podium was included, and the cutscene ended with a salute. Additionally, the game mode's original name was "Blitzkrieg", named after the eponymous war strategy used by the Nazis.
Conker: Live & Reloaded
Despite Kriplespac's death in the Heist chapter, the Tediz continued their war against the SHC. This war is chronicled in the Multiplayer mode of Conker: Live & Reloaded, where players can decide whether to side with the Tediz or the SHC.
The Tediz had a significant design change, most notably their less artificial appearance. Other differences include their big yellow eyes, their teeth. Despite being robots, the Tediz now bleed out blood upon defeat (they previously bled stuffing). The stitches on their skin are also less haphazard, although are still visible. They also wear green military outfits, including a helmet.
The Tediz are one of the main characters of the Multiplayer mode. They are one of the playable races of Chapter X. In Beach Dead, they are under the command of Kriplespac, to try and prevent the Squirrel High Command from entering their base. In Fortress Deux, they try to capture the flag of the Squirrel High Command. Lastly, in Castle Von Tedistein, they attempt to link the power lines to their time machine to introduce the Machine Tediz.
Conker's Big Reunion
Despite their previous defeats, the Tediz return in Conker's Big Reunion as the main antagonists. They retain their Conker's Bad Fur Day appearance, similar to Conker, but retain their Nazi inspiration from Conker: Live & Reloaded.
The Tediz have assembled a number of buildings and businesses, including a secret lab, a logging camp, and a brewery. They are quite intent on ruining Conker's reunion, as they have assaulted Conker, stole his Cash, attempted to demolish The Cock and Plucker with a supply of explosives and, when that failed, kidnapped his friends, leaving for Conker a fake note declaring they all decided to leave.
There are numerous types of Tediz. Most of them only appear in the It's War chapter.
- Grunt: Grunts are the main infantry. As their name implies, they are the grunts of the Tediz. They carry a gun with a knife attachment to either shoot or stab a character. The Tediz received a complete military uniform in Live & Reloaded; they are even playable characters it's Multiplayer mode.
- Tedi Surgeon: Tedi Surgeons work in the scientific division of the Tediz army. As their name implies, they are surgeons, dressed in surgical gear and spattered with chemicals and blood. Tedi Surgeons use scalpels and syringes for weapons.
- Submarine Tedi: Submarine Tediz are Tediz who pilot Submarines. They were fought in the lair of the Little Girl and The Experiment, and would fire Missiles at Conker. Tediz were only revealed as the Submarine pilots in Live & Reloaded.
- Big Boss Tedi: A mini-boss who rapid fires at Conker from a Chain Gun only seen in classic Bad fur day since he doesn't appear in the remake.
- The Experiment: The Experiment is a massive, spider-legged Tedi controlled by a Little Girl, who sits as a puppet on his right hand. The Experiment has a blade saw on his other hand.
- Machine Tediz: Machine Tediz are red-armored cyborgs who only appear in the New War of the multiplayer mode of Live & Reloaded. They replace the Grunt Tediz from 200 years earlier.
- Chainsaw Tediz: This Tediz first appears in Conker's Big Reunion, where they wear a potato sack mask and wield a Chainsaw.
- Tediz Abomination: Another new Tedi subspecies from Big Reunion—this Tedi has grown to gargantuan size thanks due to an unknown transformative substance. Alterations to the standard Tedi form include multiple fungal growths, natural armor, and an enlarged pair of gonads.
Some have debated over the singular form of Tediz being "Tedi". This is because the plural "Tediz" is used a lot more often; the "z" of Tediz makes an "s" sound. "Tediz" is an obvious misspelling of "teddies", and "Tedi" is of "teddy".
Tedi is the actual singular form, which can be proved from two cases. The first case is in earlier versions of Bad Fur Day, where Rodent says "Tedizs everywhere" in the chapter It's War; this means that "Tediz" was once singular and plural. This was grammatically fixed to "Tediz everywhere!" in the retail release, thus changing "Tedi" as the singular.
The second instance is in the multiplayer missions of Live & Reloaded, where characters use the singular form "Tedi", such as when a character says "Tedi Machine Charged Up" in Castle Von Tedistein.
- In the early shots and gameplay of Conker: Live & Uncut, a Tedi wearing a dress can be spotted. It is believed that the Tediz have females in the group, while most of the army is just made up of male Tediz, though in actuality these are male Tediz wearing drag as confirmed by Chris Seavor.
- Even though people have mistaken the Tedi wearing a dress as a female, there were plans to have female Tediz. When a fan asked about Live & Uncut during its development, Rare revealed that the Tediz from the planned expanded multiplayer was supposed to be extinct, while the new Tediz seen in Bad Fur Day's events are called "Space Tediz" which could have had female counterparts called "Doliz". The second instance of introducing female Tediz would have been in the canceled Conker: Gettin' Medieval, as depicted in the concept art of the game. One of them has black fur which suggests the Tediz have genetics dictating their fur color.
- Space Tediz, which was an early concept of the machine Tediz, were also supposed to be in Conker's Other Bad Day.
- In the Casualty Dept. of the It's War chapter in Live & Reloaded, a Tedi based on its Bad Fur Day design can be found in a container. It is possibly based on one of the models from Conker: Live & Uncut because of its claws, just like the ones from the Live & Uncut trailer.
- Though most Tediz are inspired by Nazis, there is one exception inspired by Kaiser Wilhelm II.
- The Tediz seems to have some types of strong emotions since, in Fortress Deux if the SHC captures the flag, the Sarge mentions that Tediz are in despair and that some of them are committing suicide by hanging or setting themselves on fire.
- The Tediz may have a complex reproductive organ due to the fact, in the Saving private conker promotional book, Conker kicks one of them in the balls, while in Conker's Big Reunion, the mutant Tediz has massive balls though the biggest evidence is in the Bunker in Deathmatch there is an area that is a bathroom where one can urinate on the other players and the Tediz can piss, which was seen again in the log chopping area in Conker's Big Reunion while they talking about do not cross the streams.
- Though the Tediz are seen as ruthless soldiers, it suggests they have calm sides like, where the surgeons are smoking (which might suggest its either weed or some type of herb), in Conker's Big Reunion some of them get drunk in the Brewery and refuse to fight Conker as a result of their intoxication, though the biggest evidence wherein Conker: Live & Reloaded's The Cock and Plucker they are seen drinking with the SHC.
- Appearance of Tediz's eyes changes throughout the series - in Bad Fur Day they are black buttons similar to real-world teddy plushies, in the canceled Live & Uncut they are recolored blue, in the Live & Reloaded remake they are real yellow eyeballs that make Tediz look like living beings, and the Big Reunion goes back to the original black eyeball buttons.
- @conkerhimself 17 mar 2017 "....and a Tediz in drag !! Now that was some scary shit !!" 
- "Conker's All New Live multiplayer is actually set before the events detailed in the original N64 version. They are definitely dead. The new and more aggressive Space Tediz (and their female counterparts, the Doliz) are alive and well, however." Rare Scribes - DKVine.com